A number of blog readers, podcast listeners and other friends have been wondering why I’ve been so quiet lately. The main reason is simply that a lot has been going on in my life and every time I imagine blogging or doing a podcast, I feel overwhelmed from how ‘behind the updates’ I am. And then another ’something’ (challenging or blessing) comes up in life and the overwhelmed feeling increases. So, in case more ’somethings’ come up and I end up crushed, blissed out or stretched thin, I thought I’d start out with updating you on the main sad news. Next post will be on the main good news happening in my life…which there is plenty of as well.
About three weeks ago (February 24th, 2008) my father, Jorgen Hansen, passed away (Santa Barbara Independent obituary). Though it was a sad surprise, it wasn’t too much of a shock due to the fact that he was close to 86 and did have some arrhythmic heart issues. I had last talked to him the week before when the Today Show aired the piece about our Soul Tech workshop. I think (in his funny way) he was proud about this (perhaps a little jealous or skeptic in that I don’t think he ever received the kind of accolade that he would have wanted, or that he deserved), but I’m not sure. He often shared that ‘true art/artist’ rarely, if ever, received a fair reward in the world.
Another reason I wasn’t devastated was that I received a wonderful gift the night before I found out the news. I woke in the morning with the memory of two dreams that felt so vivid and important I immediately went upstairs and wrote them down. I hadn’t written down dreams with this feeling of…hmmm…’importance’ in years. I don’t want to share the details publicly, but I’ll just say that upon reflection after the news, they were clearly gifts from my dad and/or God and/or ‘the universe’. A needed boost to my wavering faith (of late) that life truly ‘goes on’ after death…
My dad and I had an odd relationship –distant (geographically and due to being separated from him at 3) and yet very close (in that we could still connect intimately, and more so in later years as I learned to accept him for who he was.) There is so much more so to say, but its a little odd to share in this space. I will say though that I’ve recently learned much more about him, about his brilliant side as a teacher and mentor, through his students and through other friends and family that I’d never met.
Ironically (for those who know about my ’skep-tech’ side) this getting to know him has mostly happened through the social site I created on Ning. At ‘Room 23′ people have shared their personal stories, pictures, paintings and videos from my dad’s life and classes. Check out the site to learn more about this amazing, though at times mind-bogglingly frustrating, man. I love you dad and will miss hearing your voice and seeing your face, until we meet on the other side.