Wonderosity

I’m not a fan of ‘cool’ -though I’m just as guilty as most people of using the word. Cool has become an increasingly ‘default’ adjective over the past few decades, and yet its net effect has been primarily to further segment and dumb down our culture. The statement “That concert was cool” not only has less value than “I really liked the lead singer’s harmonies”, it also seeks out an affirmation from the hearer that they too think it was ‘cool’. And what in the world does that use of the word cool mean anyway?

I like ‘cool’ attitudes even less.   Coolness makes it really hard to get to know a person, to connect with them on an authentic, free level.  When I’m in a compassionate space, I remember that behind the neutrality/indifference of ‘coolness’ is most likely various protective layers and fears stemming from a variety of relational hurts. You may think I’m over-analyzing this, but every time I’ve had the courage, patience and care to probe beyond somebody’s icy cool walls, they begin to melt down and I’m able to cross over and connect with them on a deeper level. Now that I’m writing about it, I’m realizing that wonderosity, -a vulnerable free-flowing following your curiosity to a child-like wonder and awe at Life, is on the opposite pole from icy coolness.

Anyway, in the hope that you might seek out a little wonderosity warmth if you need it, I offer these top ten signs (not in order) that you might just be getting a little too cool:

1. You rarely look at people’s eyes because, well, its just not cool
2. You either strive to wear what’s right, or to look like you don’t care what’s right to wear
3. Sarcasm or other humor/language that only a few people will get frequently pass through your lips
4. Your primary mood is ‘indifferent’
5. You find conversations whether there is personal disclosure uncomfortable or unpleasant
6. You frequently find yourself afraid, worried or insecure about what other people will think about you
7. You would prefer conversation with your gadget, than with the real person just a few feet away from you
8. You frequently use the word cool to describe things, people, music, experiences, events, whatever.
9. You avoid certain people (or categories of people) because, well, their just not cool
10. You are more afraid or distrustful of people than trusting

I’m sure the above list could be consolidated, re-ordered and added to, and maybe that’s just what I’ll do. Or is that not a cool way to blog?

I’ll end with some very uncool cliches: Be free! Be yourself! Have fun! Screw your fears! True friends will like you for who you are. Let your true colors shine, go for it!

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